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I have a dark secret inside
that I’ve held for most of my life
And as I would grow older
day by day became more of a fight
There’s gotta be more to life than just this
Always battling with, that little voice in my head
Questioning my thoughts and everything that I did
One day I’d be a saint the next chasing a sin
I forgot about life and how I wanted to live
All my dreams died the day I let anxiety exist
How do I keep going on living like this?
Guess you would say that one day, enough would be enough
But enough, I would tell you, was something I just never was
Then time showed up one day unannounced
Tried so hard to reintroduce me to my self
But I wasn’t listening; I just plain didn’t care
My thoughts were not healthy and my mind not aware
I’d already checked-out you see,
I was just done with living here
So…
I want to tell you now, I know how bad that sounds
And believe me here when I say, I wish I could write it out
But it’s a big part of me and
all the parts that make me myself
I had to hit rock bottom
after I was falling for so long
I had to lose the parts of me
which told me I wasn’t enough
Would tell me that I’m weak
and how I was not worthy of love
You see, that’s the secret I carry with me
Carried with me my whole life-long
Had a voice inside that loved telling me,
day by day how I’d never be enough
So I buried it all deep inside me,
Forty years hid the pain in plain site
So when I finally hit rock bottom
It was on my knees where I stayed and I prayed
I prayed at the time to a God, Whom I had no awareness of yet
But I prayed and I prayed
and I prayed a lot more,
praying for my pain to not hurt anymore
I prayed for God’s Grace and I prayed for His Mercy
pleaded with God, here as I am to now judge me
I prayed there in the silence
I prayed for all I’ve ever been
And as I sat there in the silence
I heard, Be still and know I am
Now, I’m not saying, “God saved me”
Afterall, who the hell am I?
But I can feel the mercy He’s had on me,
His Grace with me now every step of my life
This allows me to say that I am good enough
Well at least I feel so in God’s eyes
If I can leave you anything
good from what I  went through
I guess I just feel like telling ya
God is there if you ever need Him too

So if you every feel like talking to Him
His number’s still not too hard to find
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